Today, I started doing something unusual; I started playing holiday music. I figured, with everything that has happened this year; deaths of loved ones and beloved celebrities from my parent’s generation, terrible election processes, protests of outcomes on crimes and the election, as well as Brexit, I wouldn’t even think of getting into the holiday spirit. Well, I guess I was wrong.
Though I’m not fully there, I guess I’m beginning to heal through it all. I just have a feeling the Christmas light displays will be the last line of defense on my healing heart. Every year, as a child, my family jumped in the car and drove around town to see the different light displays people put up every year. It was my favorite tradition next to watching A Christmas Story, as millions of Americans out there.
Nowadays, if I do drive around town, it’s with friends of mine, or on my own, and therefore, it’s not nearly as cheerful as it used to be. As an adult now, myself, I have taken the place of my parents, and it’s rough thinking about it now. I never saw myself reaching the forties, and it’s not something I am emotionally accepting, either. I still believe I have a lot of life left in me, but I’m feeling the joints give, my skin start to sag, and my hair tinged with more silver than anyone else in the family my age.
I always saw my parents as young, but now, I see the age they truly are, and I’m right behind them… The holidays were always warm, and inviting, and all about love. Now, it’s baron, and sad… How does one get used to such a dramatic change such as this? I’m guessing it never gets easier, and to just let it flow. Not necessarily encouraging, but it is what it is. So, Christmas Traditions out the window, at least I’m healing.