Too Tired…

Yes, it’s Monday; the day back from a weekend of whatever it is everyone endured over the weekend. Some may have spent time with family, some may have moved family. Some may have celebrated an event, birthday, accomplishment, or person’s life. Some may have paid their bills only come up broke after receiving their paycheck on Friday. Some may have retired and woke up this morning with nothing to do for the first time in their lives. Some may have arrived for their first day on the job, or interviewed for a job they’re interested in.

Others, like me, may have spent the weekend helping others, lost sleep in the process, showed up to work drained, and wishing they could get out of the rain and back into their nice, warm beds for some much needed zzz’s.

Yes, that was me this past weekend; a lot more drama regarding a friend of mine, and healing that tapped me even further. Sure, you say I shouldn’t be so tapped if I did the healing right, and you would be right, of course. However, it wasn’t the healing, it was the drama that did it to me. I’m just looking forward to being able to see that drama end, though I know the process is just starting.

Friends and new people that I meet, I show care for. Sure, a lot of people who normally don’t, would say that I’m a fool, and I shouldn’t give so much. However, they may be the reason I do. I see so much mistreatment going on in the world, it makes it harder for me to look away. If I wasn’t already doing something important, I would would be one of the millions of women marching on Washington this weekend as an Ugly Woman. However, I can’t just walk away from someone who needs my help.

These are the days of ‘me, me, and, hello, me’ and those who are virtually unable to help themselves out of the grime they’ve found themselves stuck in, need someone savvy to help them find their way. I may use their stories to bring awareness to the masses on the harrowing

These people deserve their lives to be chronicled, safely, and I think that will be one way of getting myself out there as a writer. People need to see what they do to others, and those who are abused need to know and understand what’s going on. I think awareness needs to be the focus on those who are being abused by narcissists who are vicious to live with. Too bad I didn’t get a degree in abnormal psychology…

I’ve been told all my life that I should be a therapist; only problem with that sentence is that ‘I should be’. Reason I say that is I am a friend and confidant, not a therapist who charges people to tell me about their problems and stays away, and out of the fray. Not that I am a gloriast (as I’ve been told by my ex-friend), or anything, I just don’t like to charge people for what I can offer them, and I would rather help them by actually being there, not just putting ideas in their heads. Minds can be mazes, but I look past the mind in the heads of those I care about-I help them see the situation, and I offer them more than a half-hour session they paid big bucks for can.

I just don’t see what them sitting on a chaise can do for them, ya know? Yes, I guess you could say I need a vacation, but I am afraid that if I go, that either I will not want to go back, or something will happen, and there’s no turning back. As the country begins to chew on its last nail over the arrival of Inauguration in four days, I hold onto and offer what bit of light I can muster for someone less fortunate, as they will be dealing with a tougher lifestyle now that rights will be taken away from many people, and the fight will be brutal.

A little speck of light is enough to warm the hearts of those who can pass it on, and that light can fuel so many hearts, warm many souls, and lift many to stand up for what’s right. I plan to be one of those little flames on top of a candle in a sea of dimness and darkness. I once thought it was possible to hide from the world, but failed miserably every time I tried to avoid situations bringing me into the path of those who still found me somehow. I know helping others is my calling, and I decided to stop trying to disappear.

So, I’ll be that flicker amongst the din, and bring warmth into people’s homes, and people’s hearts. I know I’m not heading up huge protests, or leading organizations that move mountains, but moving the heart of one who is less fortunate is what is truly needed in this world as well, since, at times, the bigness of a movement can deter those who wish to remain under the radar themselves. So, that is my corner, and there I will stay, and be available, always.


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