This word is spoken daily, at the request of those who don’t offer it to those who deserve it. One thing to think about is showing that gesture to ourselves. I am a woman, I will admit that much on this blog, and one thing just came up on my Facebook page-This is going to make you feel uncomfortable, as it does me, but it is, in fact, very important.
Women in society are victims of body bashing from others as well as themselves. They look at their bodies and are not confident in how they look, or how their bodies perform. For me, I’m just as insecure as every other woman out there, sadly. I’m a victim of body bashing, and it hurts.
I bashed my body at the age of 16 when it was perfect in every way: I had 10% body fat, perky breasts, the body of Barbie, and no matter how I did my hair, I looked good. I have a lazy eye, and crooked teeth, but aside from that, my dual face, different on the left from the right, always looked beautiful. Where did the body shaming start? My pooch, or baby belly as women call it. I never wore a bikini because of it, as it was reflective of my baby-bearing hips, which I have left baron of my own accord.
I called myself fat, even though I was perfection, and was told so by many; I had boys after me, was sexually harassed and assaulted for my looks, and was bullied by boys because they were all in love with me, but they couldn’t bring themselves to stand up to their friends to date me. Yeah, my teenage years were a little weird, to say the least, and my internal issues began with my baby pooch.
I married my high school sweetheart after I began to ruin my beautiful body. I have gained weight over the years, disappeared from the view of men, and became a doormat for quite some time because I disappeared, and felt safer, but unhealthy. I apologized to my husband many times over the years for ruining this body before he could enjoy it out of fear of being seen by too many. Being desirable to other men was a scary thing after the times I was sexually assaulted. I was told by an ex-boyfriend in college that I was the ungetable get among girls in high school, and I had to ask him why. How pathetic is that? I instinctually knew why, but my heart felt the need to ask because it didn’t believe the truth.
Women, I’m here to tell you that body shaming is not something that should define us or rule us as a species. We are beautiful as we are because we are individuals, and equally strong and courageous for remaining here in this stinking world. No matter what weight we are, not matter how many soft curves we sport, those belong to no one but ourselves. Those are our assets, and it’s up to us to be strong, and OWN them!
So, I was a size 14 when I walked down the aisle to meet my husband on our wedding day, my arms already began to sport the beginnings of chicken wings, my hair didn’t go the way I hoped it would, and I had the seams in the bodice of my gorgeous dress let out so I could even zip it up for that big day. I was already sporting a gray hair amongst the beautiful dark brown hair, I was wearing bifocals, and my teeth had long ago gone back to their original positions after four painful years of braces years before. But, ya know what? He still married me, proudly sang his vows with me during the ceremony, lit that unity candle with me, and proudly kissed me.
Girls, let’s stop shaming ourselves, right now. If you have a husband, boyfriend, or anyone willing to share your most intimate moments in the bedroom with you, stop and think; there is a reason he’s there. Have you ever asked him? If you haven’t, I suggest you do.
What spurred this on was I saw a video about women photographing their vaginas, and then listening to their husbands and boyfriends as they described how they felt as they looked at the bits, and it was so sweet, adorable, and wonderful. That got me thinking; how badly have I treated myself, and never thought to ask my husband why he enjoys me so much. I never took his feelings into account. Of course, he never said how he felt, but he always expressed his feelings physically without second thought.
So, yeah, I decided I want to take care of myself, inside and out. My healing from body shaming starts now!