The Family, or My Family?

We’ve heard this many times; blood is thicker than water, but it’s still not enough to keep the ties strong. What is blood, anyway? DNA, I know, but is it really worth the stress, the pain, the loss?

Family is a broad term in my book, and there are two kinds:

  1. Blood family that you can’t choose,
  2. Spiritual family you choose to spend your time with.

A lot of traditionalists hate this comparison, as it shows that it’s okay to put non-blood family before your blood. Well, if we happen to be born amongst those who didn’t work out with you, then why stick around, I say. This is how abuse happens, how stress kills us sooner, and how we realize we are not wanted by our immediate society; or we’re wanted for the wrong reasons. I’ve seen these sort of situations go bad, and am experiencing it now.

Why not pursue happiness? Sure, leaving a family of abusers behind can seem daunting, but are they, and the way they treat us, really worth our lives? Not really. I am making that choice, myself as I write this. I was put in the middle of two chasms formed by a family member who has been on the outside of the issues all along, and decided it was time to rear-end me when I’m about to get the life I deserve.

I’ve been the caretaker for my mother, and my late father, my whole life, and my mother would love to give me the opportunity to move on, but my elder sibling will have none of it. If I leave, which she is claiming she wants me to, it puts this other outsider in the right, and it’s a bad ploy for her to get me reported because I left my mother, which I am not supposed to do. It sickens me, and I am not able to think straight because I’m torn by what’s right for me, and what’s right according to my position in the family. I love my mother, and I miss my father; but I am stuck in the middle, and I want out.

This is a bad case of people manipulating to get what they want, and it bothers me. It’s as if my Aunt wants my share of the inheritance, when there is none. My sister thinks I want it all, but I have no legal stance to touch the money, at all. I am just the caretaker, and I have no rights in this, and it hurts that I am at the mercy of the family, and my mother. It’s easy to want to shirk my responsibilities in this, but is it a good idea?

I’m not saying I’m an expert on these situations, but I am gaining experience… Not necessarily where I’d rather be, but this seems a good reason to be there; so I can talk about it, and bring about good conversations on it. I have noticed the readership drop-off a bit, but I will continue to post here, as I feel my voice is worth using.


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