When someone gets promoted, a new job, or a new home, it’s not uncommon that there’ll be at least one person in the group left behind. This sort of thing happens all the time; however, the important question is, how does one, whose pace is different from everyone else’s, deal with others moving forward, while they feel trapped?
The answer lies in self-exploration.
Self-exploration leads to many avenues, and possibilities. Say, for instance, you have never sat down and listed off what your talents are, your passions are, or even what drives you crazy. I know, I know, a lot of therapists recommend that step, but hey, it works. Make a list of things that fall into all possible categories, and then go over them.
The next thing to do is to see those items listed as objects without feeling, and here’s why. As soon as you list those things that you need to let go of, you will be able to let go of those habits, goals, and actions you no longer need, or no longer serve you. The things that are important, you will remember, and will not toss away.
Once you’ve gone through the list, you will need to remember what is on the toss-off list, and go on from there, and just focus on the list of what does serve you. No matter how weird this all sounds, you will eventually change your life, and see where your next path is.
Healing is not easy, and it was never meant to be.
None of us like to have mirrors shoved in our faces, but it has to be done. We all make mistakes, see others for what we think of them, and do things that cause others pain without realizing. All these afflictions, whether we like them or not, are a part of being human, and are unavoidable. So, accept what you’re doing, and do whatever it takes to touch on what you’re doing/not doing right.
Also, remember, when it comes to healing, the pace is decided by your sight of the truth, and how much is revealed and how quickly. You set the pace, even if you don’t think you do. What needs to be healed will reveal itself to you. If you are virtually blind to everything you do, and can’t figure it out, a mentor can help guide you-anyone you trust who will tell you how it is.
We all need that person to shove their hands in our faces with the words we hate to hear, but must hear. We need to hear if we insulted someone, if we hurt someone, if someone loves or hates us, and if someone just doesn’t give a damn at all about us. Boundaries are important now, more so than ever, since we all are coming to terms with how people are being treated, and how we feel about ourselves. It’s important that we gain our power back; that is the ultimate goal.
We are made to feel, so don’t be afraid.
Yes, feeling emotions can be overwhelming, especially for those who are old souls, and don’t feel they mix in with the average human being. When it comes to hiding feelings, ask yourself why you do it. The most common answer lies with being embarrassed over their feelings because of things they’d been told to feel instead in the past. Emotional Conditioning causes problems in the essence that people are conditioned to feel a certain way, are raised to believe that certain feelings are considered unreasonable, not worthy of announcing, must be kept to themselves, and feelings are not to be used to make decisions because you must think analytically.
Well, guess what, we’re not robots! We’re SUPPOSED to feel! So, feel, and analyze those feelings. Talk to those you trust, and get some feedback. Feedback is a huge tool that can be used, even with strangers, as people you don’t know can give you insight from the outside, as opposed to biased insight of someone who cares too much for you. When one slides something in a drawer to never be looked at again, it begins to grow, and fester, especially if it’s a negative situation, or thought.
Dealing with emotions sucks, yes, but it helps us to find a higher understanding about ourselves, and helps us better react in later situations to, in turn, heal how we see ourselves and others. Healing past traumas can also be done by analyzing those emotions we feel, and all you have to do is ask yourself why.
Fear is a strong emotion, but don’t let it take over; change it’s chemistry.
We all instinctually link fear with something: an object, a situation, a feeling, an animal, or nightmares in some instances. However, fear is within us, always. Fear is actually an emotion, and can never be anything else; however, since we tend to feel it when something appears or occurs, we tend to morph it to be something material, or concrete. We gather fears all throughout our lives, and they gather in a list, and we begin to fear more and more in our lives till there ends up being too much to deal with. Then, we’re stuck with a full closet of fears that we shut away, and peek at every now and then to see if they’re still there.
How can we change the chemistry? Well, instead of seeing our fear as an object, a past trauma, a past terrible emotion, or a past situation we can’t do anything about that we constantly manifest into your future, we can use it as fuel to emerge victorious over them; here’s how.
We must first recognize why we fear it, and what can you do about it. Then you look further than the object, reason, or emotional feeling causing you to fear it, and ask the question, “What do I gain? What do I lose? Will it hurt me, and if so, how bad will it hurt?”
You see, if you allow something smaller than you to have power over you, it surely will, and you will remain a child cuddled under that cozy blanket instead of that armored knight ready to get passed it. It’s really just all in looking at it for what it is, and accepting it, and then moving on past it. If you believe a coat stand will hurt you, it certainly will.
Now what do I do once I’ve figured out how to get passed them?
You move on; you have the tools to get passed the fears you once cowered from before, and gave power to. You’re able to take the power back, and can then feel confident in yourself, your path, and will suddenly have the tenacity to look forward to the things you used to fear.
Sure, we all have the free-will to remain fearful, no one is saying you must deal with things; but when it comes to progressing in life, and getting ourselves out of the swamp we seem stuck in, we have to first ask ourselves why we’re there, and what we’re going to do about it. However, you can’t just say you’re going to do something, and expect it to happen, you must actually go through it to make it happen. Just like Sigourney Weaver said in Working Girl: It’s a two-way street, and YOU make it happen.