Trust: Why Is It So Hard?

Friendships can start-up quickly; sometimes they last a lifetime, and sometimes only a short while. They can be very wonderful, and fill our hearts with the best memories we could ever ask for. However, when those strong friendships end, the pain can be just as hard as losing a husband or wife when they end abruptly.

I have lost a couple of precious friendships in the recent past, and although I had known the most recent friendship for about as long as the only long-term relationship ended, it still hurt just as much since i felt just as deeply for the new friend as the old one.

Both friends I gave everything I could to; more so than most would have given family. I enjoyed them both, and grieve both friends equally. No one likes to lose someone dear, whether through death, or through drama-related stupidity. However, one thing is for certain, even if a deep-rooted friendship ends, the memories remain.

There is a saying I carry with me, and give out to those who can’t understand why something like this has happened: Life is like a Labyrinth. You walk your path, without any way of knowing where it leads, and at times, you’ll share your path with another for a short time, and their path will then lead them away from yours once again, and you will be forced to move on without them.

Labyrinth Tunnel

Sometimes, losing a friend can feel like your stuck in a dank, dark tunnel alone.

In the Labyrinth, everything is temporary, and you will find the same things and places repeatedly, meaning you will choose not to wander too far from your center of settling. However, even those settled places can change each time you come to them. People will change, and return to cross your path at times, and then they will continue on their intertwining path to progress on their own once again.

Life is a journey filled with the unknown; filled with surprises, omens, signs, and decisions to make that don’t give you any indication as to where they would lead. Sure, people can try and teach by example; however, not everyone will experience the same situation twice, or the same as another has. Each person’s path in the Labyrinth is as intricate as they are. This Labyrinth, I assure you, is massive; about the size of Earth herself, as no farm Labyrinth could ever be expected to hold us all in its hay paths.

So, don’t be sad when things like this happen. Sure, you will cry at first, but once you see that you will survive your path without that loved one, you will feel strong once again, and reach your goals in success. I am doing just that; after losing two great people in my life, who enriched my heart and soul in ways I never imagined a friend could, I aim to be successful, and surpass my current state by concentrating on myself for a change, as they were the center of my attention and focus for quite some time.

This is teaching me that it’s time to let go of distractions, as more interesting things are coming my way, and I will do well enough to remember them fondly without anger, frustration, sadness, or a sense of betrayal. It is good to feel confident that this is a good thing for me after suffering such grief and loss. If you just lost a friend or loved one, and are starting on that sullen path, remember, you will live on, and you will surpass this moment/time in your life, and smile brightly again, as more meaningful relationships will come into your life to warm your heart.

Labyrinth Courtyard

A courtyard in a Labyrinth clearing where one could commiserate with fellow friends and other people on their path.

Those we lose who were close to us tend to morph in our hearts; they become lessons for us, and help us to see the signs we missed in those we lost, so we will never fall for their hurtful behaviors again, if the relationship ended due to problems relationship-wise. With me, the two I lost, were the two I saved from abuse. I served my purpose with them, and now it’s my turn to save myself, from procrastination, from living in complacency, and from back-burnering my desires and plans for my near future. I need to make my future be today now, and I will do what I promised myself, now that I can finally focus on myself.

You can do that too; I know I’m not the only one who has been putting myself and my needs on the back burner. Figure out what it is you’ve been neglecting, and do it. Get together with those you’ve missed, call out to your old-time friends still sticking around, and meet them in that wandering courtyard you love to stop in to see them, and make those ties stronger. Pay attention to those who deserve your time, now, and let go of what was, as the past can never be here again.


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