I Am Who?

Soul Searching, a daring journey that so few of us take. It’s not easy to fathom the results, and when they do arise, half the time, we are stumped, happier, or disappointed.
Soul Searching can be a nasty business, as you come to the realization of who you really are, who you have been, and what you’ve done. No one likes learning the truth, but you inevitably get it in the end of a Soul Search Journey.
I, myself, have been undergoing such a journey; I know I am not the only one in my little circle of the universe. I have come to learn a lot about myself, especially recently how I hide my dark side so completely that no one knows who she is, and inevitably gets slapped in the face when she rears her ugly head, generally when I’m mad.
Sure, nothing new to the average person, though when it comes to details, those are off-limits, of course.
But what I am referring to is when you find out that someone who is going through that journey would go to varying lengths for you, and you don’t react well, or you are unsure of what to do after their back-bending acrobatics in your name.
It’s not easy seeing what people are willing to do for you, when you mean so much to them. I am learning who I am, and it’s scaring me, which my close friends find odd.
I, for some reason, have always been scared of my many layers of onion. I am fine with the sweet layers close to the top that are beloved by everyone. Recently, I found out I’m a fiery woman with a strong personality, and I’m afraid I will hurt others instead of do good for myself.
I know, sounds ridiculous; not to me, the one who’s going through it.
When we find out who we are, we find that some of our points can hurt others because we’re becoming unhinged, because we’re learning about the darkest corners of our souls, as well as how to use our light from within to light the way on our journey.
The hardest part in this journey is accepting the new you, and the changes you’re forced to make. Do we accept it and move on? Or do we learn about ourselves, and continue down the same path, without the new knowledge influencing us?
When it comes to learning that we’re the complete opposite of who we once were, it can be traumatic, depending on who we find ourselves to be. We could find ourselves at a crossroads, and no clue where either path leads. Are you brave enough? Or are we scared? It’s always up to us to decide.


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